Since copy and intellectual property rights (now reaching oxymoronic proportions) have been given the stamp of iron-clad permanence and near holy sanctity, I thought this might be the perfect solution to protect our individual identity and privacy:
Starting today, I hearby copyright my own unique creation – myself. My face, body, personal stats, biometric identifiers, speech, writing, and movement through space is hereby protected copyright to the fullest extent of the law. Everything I do both publicly and private is considered a performance. Anyone who copies my information in a database, shares my personal information with others, is guilty of piracy. My identity is mine, and mine alone, and falls under the purview of copyright protection. Anyone who has a copy of any of my unique identifying information, including fingerprints, iris scans, walking gates, and DNA, and possesses that information without permission is now elgible to be sued.
I admit this idea is absurd, but given the current intellectual enclosures, is it? I didn’t write the rules of the game, the IP cartels, Congress, WIPO, and now the US Supreme court did. On the other hand, perhaps this is a way to use their laws to protect ourselves from invasions of privacy and unwanted intrusiveness of surveillance, which in this context is “stealing” our copyrights, and then pirating that information by copying and sharing it across countless government and corporate databases.
Anyone who sees a flaw in this argument is welcome to contact me.